I don't understand now, I never really did, and I don't expect to in the future. Ignorance should be bliss, damn it! What the hell happened? :p
~H
The winding road
We all take a path. Mine is a tad crooked but it gets me there.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
One More Spark
This is just another spark my mind had to let loose
I hope it works for more than just me, ;)
Sometimes my dreams and nightmares collide
I am still working on understanding that
I have dreams of laughter, color and light
I have nightmares of shadows, tears and shame
There is peace without pain in my dreams
My nightmares show a very different truth
Dreams and nightmares are the sparks that move the great mystery
I may not have any answers to the big questions
but I am working to move the universe, one small spark at a time.
~H
I hope it works for more than just me, ;)
Sometimes my dreams and nightmares collide
I am still working on understanding that
I have dreams of laughter, color and light
I have nightmares of shadows, tears and shame
There is peace without pain in my dreams
My nightmares show a very different truth
Dreams and nightmares are the sparks that move the great mystery
I may not have any answers to the big questions
but I am working to move the universe, one small spark at a time.
~H
another burst of thought
Yep, here is another burst of thought from yours truly.
I miss what has been lost
I will never get it back
I must endure and just move on
I hope to still live and love
I feel so lost and alone
I am sorry to all my loves
I sink to the depths in despair
I cling to the edge with everything
I know we will survive
I know it won't be easy
I look inside for something wonderful
I wonder at it's simplicity
I only had to see it
I only had to accept it
I faced my demons in battle
I rocked my faith to it's core
I stood up tall and strong
I was not wrong or bad
I was so much more than I ever thought
I love so many special souls
I enjoy the greatest riddle
I see endless possibilities
I think I have said enough
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers! ~H
I miss what has been lost
I will never get it back
I must endure and just move on
I hope to still live and love
I feel so lost and alone
I am sorry to all my loves
I sink to the depths in despair
I cling to the edge with everything
I know we will survive
I know it won't be easy
I look inside for something wonderful
I wonder at it's simplicity
I only had to see it
I only had to accept it
I faced my demons in battle
I rocked my faith to it's core
I stood up tall and strong
I was not wrong or bad
I was so much more than I ever thought
I love so many special souls
I enjoy the greatest riddle
I see endless possibilities
I think I have said enough
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers! ~H
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Blunted, Dampened, Exhausted and just a tad Depleted.
"When weapons are blunted, and ardor dampened, strength exhausted, and resources depleted, the neighboring rulers will take advantage of these complications. Then even the wisest of counsels would not be able to avert the consequences that must ensue."-Sun-tzu.
I love that guy!
Take this however you wish. It is personal, professional, and extremely relevant on a much bigger level to boot.
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers! ~H
I love that guy!
Take this however you wish. It is personal, professional, and extremely relevant on a much bigger level to boot.
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers! ~H
Sunday, October 31, 2010
I am a Nerd. But then you knew that already, lol ;-)
You are a d10: You are analytical, rational, and logical. You see the world around you as a succession of problems that can only be navigated via insightful and elegant solutions. You insist on precision are often forced to waste valuable time correcting others. Your attention to detail is extraordinary, and will sometimes focus all your attention on details that others consider unimportant. You are not so interested in doing the right thing, as you are in finding the best way to do it. In other words, you're a complete nerd.
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers! ~H
Monday, October 18, 2010
YouTube - The Wallflowers - One Headlight
YouTube - The Wallflowers - One Headlight
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers!~H
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers!~H
Emote this!
I realize we are in an age where verbal communication is old school and text messages and facebook posts (and twits...err...i mean tweets,lol) are king.
I like the old school way best, even if I'm not that good at it. I see the attraction of the new way of course. Everyone takes a turn, no interruptions or talking over someone. Everyone can be heard and by many all in one message. Emotions are conveyed by way of short symbols and abbreviations instead of verbal inflections. Lol, roflmao, ;p and the like are everywhere.
We often feel awkward when we actually talk. There is no edit feature. No way to erase,retype, erase again if it doesn't sound right.
I still think "I love you"is best said aloud, if possible. Shouted to the world is even better. Whispered tenderly in the dark, my personal fav. ;)
If this is your choice though, so be it. <3 u 4evr ne way. XD
Sent by way of the distant line.
I like the old school way best, even if I'm not that good at it. I see the attraction of the new way of course. Everyone takes a turn, no interruptions or talking over someone. Everyone can be heard and by many all in one message. Emotions are conveyed by way of short symbols and abbreviations instead of verbal inflections. Lol, roflmao, ;p and the like are everywhere.
We often feel awkward when we actually talk. There is no edit feature. No way to erase,retype, erase again if it doesn't sound right.
I still think "I love you"is best said aloud, if possible. Shouted to the world is even better. Whispered tenderly in the dark, my personal fav. ;)
If this is your choice though, so be it. <3 u 4evr ne way. XD
Sent by way of the distant line.
Laying it out there.
OK, I am just laying it out there. I am not the happy camper I used to be and I want that to change.
I have constant pain from Pancreatitis. I am sure it is made worse by my depression. In fact I think the depression alone hurts. I have so many aches and pains that I never had before and they really wear me down. I have good days and bad days, but no matter what, I have the dark cloud sitting heavy on my chest and it just wont shake loose. I have plenty of reasons to be depressed, but I am fighting for the reasons to be happy. There are plenty of those too, but it can be really hard to see them behind the cloud.
I also really don't like taking pain killers. They don't work all that well and they have uncomfortable side effects so, more often than not, I just leave them in the bottle and deal with the pain. The nausea doesn't help either, lol. Every time I eat, even when it is light, it hits, though sometimes are easier than others.
I have been on depression medicine for awhile now and it has been helpful but not complete for me. I have had different kinds over the last few years and I am with the one that seems to work the best with the least side effects for me, yet still I get mired deep in the dark places all to often. Stress, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional makes it so much worse. I really feel like a downer to everyone and that is not who I am at heart. I try to keep it in check but it gets away from me.
I have tried several types of therapies with little by way of positive results. My friends and family have been the best medicine, yet when I get in deeper parts of depression I push them all away and sadly, I push really hard. Everyone I love will be driven away from me if things go on like this and then I really will have a reason to let loose my inner darkness. My inner darkness is always self destructive and never harmful to anyone else, so at least I have that to be thankful for. I am sorry to everyone that I have let down and they know who they are.
Today is a good day(for the moment at least) but it changes so fast and there is nothing I have been able to do about it. I still don't give up though, because everyone else is too important to me to lose. I love passionately and that love is the rock I cling to when everything else seems to be washing away.
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers! ~H
I have constant pain from Pancreatitis. I am sure it is made worse by my depression. In fact I think the depression alone hurts. I have so many aches and pains that I never had before and they really wear me down. I have good days and bad days, but no matter what, I have the dark cloud sitting heavy on my chest and it just wont shake loose. I have plenty of reasons to be depressed, but I am fighting for the reasons to be happy. There are plenty of those too, but it can be really hard to see them behind the cloud.
I also really don't like taking pain killers. They don't work all that well and they have uncomfortable side effects so, more often than not, I just leave them in the bottle and deal with the pain. The nausea doesn't help either, lol. Every time I eat, even when it is light, it hits, though sometimes are easier than others.
I have been on depression medicine for awhile now and it has been helpful but not complete for me. I have had different kinds over the last few years and I am with the one that seems to work the best with the least side effects for me, yet still I get mired deep in the dark places all to often. Stress, whether it is physical, mental, or emotional makes it so much worse. I really feel like a downer to everyone and that is not who I am at heart. I try to keep it in check but it gets away from me.
I have tried several types of therapies with little by way of positive results. My friends and family have been the best medicine, yet when I get in deeper parts of depression I push them all away and sadly, I push really hard. Everyone I love will be driven away from me if things go on like this and then I really will have a reason to let loose my inner darkness. My inner darkness is always self destructive and never harmful to anyone else, so at least I have that to be thankful for. I am sorry to everyone that I have let down and they know who they are.
Today is a good day(for the moment at least) but it changes so fast and there is nothing I have been able to do about it. I still don't give up though, because everyone else is too important to me to lose. I love passionately and that love is the rock I cling to when everything else seems to be washing away.
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers! ~H
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
So this is...
So this is love.
A feeling so strong it bends both heaven and earth.
So this is why my heart stands weak and trembling.
So this is how my mind and soul were shattered.
So this is when I break and fall, as all things must, eventually.
So this is love.
Somehow I thought it would be different.
Sent by way of the distant line.
A feeling so strong it bends both heaven and earth.
So this is why my heart stands weak and trembling.
So this is how my mind and soul were shattered.
So this is when I break and fall, as all things must, eventually.
So this is love.
Somehow I thought it would be different.
Sent by way of the distant line.
Txt to Blog... Epic Fail
This was a test. This was only a test. This was a test of the "omg I have to tell the world...STUFF" sms to blog system. If this had been actual "stuff" it would have been(hopefully) more interesting.
Unfortunately the SMS to Blog failed and I had to remove the posts...sigh... chalk one up for cruddy coding, lol!
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers! ~H
Unfortunately the SMS to Blog failed and I had to remove the posts...sigh... chalk one up for cruddy coding, lol!
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers! ~H
Reason? I don't need no stinkin' reason. ;-)
The reason I left Face Book in favor of this blog, is not something easily explained. So having said that I am not going to try very hard and get just a smidge(or a skosh/ another nice measurement btw!) close to why.
I met some fine folks on FB but something just wasn't there for me. I felt exposed, impersonal and alone all at the same time.
I like the freedom of this blog. Anyone can see it, and no need to subscribe(though it would be cool if they did). Anyone can just see what I have to say, with no restrictions. I hope it interests them enough to come back.
I can still be reached by many means, just not with FB most likely. I doubt one person will call or try to find me. Should I care? Probably. Do I? We will see who calls to find out.
Ok back to the idea grind... I have some nice ones in store for this place. I hope I get some feed back and don't feel I am just talking to myself, though that isn't all bad, just a tad sad.
Loving the moment for what it is, when it is and where it is. Cheers!
Face Book Stuff
-Houston Midkiff tabula rasa.
-Houston Midkiff I think, therefore I am screwed. I just might be done for real this time. At least it might be quiet.
-Houston Midkiff Juices stewed but good, lol. It never fails, I am my own worst enemy. One day, with luck and a lot of understanding(and medication) I will make less trouble.
-Houston Midkiff I'm a bit edged these days, in the quiet behind my eyes at least if not always for the common view. Looks like the edge is out of hiding for the moment.
-Houston Midkiff Trying something new. For those interested check out http://riotousmind.blogspot.com/
riotousmind.blogspot.com
-Houston Midkiff I have 7(at least) distinctive laughs, or so I'm told by those not to be argued with, lol. I really kinda like that.
-Houston Midkiff The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed. Good reason to never give up if ever I heard one.
-Houston Midkiff If we didn't have the dark side of life we wouldn't be able to appreciate the light side. Embrace the good stuff for what it is while you have the chance. Cheers!
RECENT ACTIVITY
first off, this is not a poem or meant to rhyme at all. it may do that inadvertently so just deal. That said, here comes the beast... life comes kinda fast. some days more than others. feel what sun you can upon your shoulders before the clouds come covering...
-Houston Midkiff ahh...the sweet smell of drama in the morning. it is like coffee, without the diuretic.
-Houston Midkiff Some days are better left silent. Of course there are also those that require screaming from time to time. Today is a mix of both. I wonder what tomorrow will bring...
-Houston Midkiff Life is casual, consensual and very situational. When it becomes delusional is when I draw the line. Of course no one else can see the line, but I still draw it.
-Houston Midkiff I may just go to Hell tonight. Wish me luck! I hear the view is, well, kinda hot. ;)
You knew from that moment, that single, very special moment, just what was going on. There was a warning, but you didn't dare look at it for what it was. It had happened before. It was happening now. It would likely happen again....
-Houston Midkiff A wish so damning and complete, strikes my heart and stops the beat. Love and loss breathe air as one, until both set much like the sun.
Some days, the light just goes out.
-Houston Midkiff It takes a special someone to really irritate me. Congrats! Ding Ding! We have a winner. Don't all rush the stage at once. Just one takes it home this time.
-Houston Midkiff Someone stop the world, I am getting a bit dizzy and would like to get off. :P
-Houston Midkiff fezzes are cool.
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