Communication

I wish I could communicate my feelings in a way that others would truly understand.

At the heart of everyone, that is a basic truth, admitted or not.
We tend to over complicate or over simplify and it is rare to fall between.

I know plenty of people that think they are doing just fine communicating.
It shouldn't be so difficult they say. 
I wish I could explain where I am coming from and what I mean.
I have tried. I am just not that good.

I'm a bit edged

I'm a bit edged these days, in the quiet behind my eyes at least if not always for the common view. Looks like the edge is out of hiding for the moment.

Why does this matter so much? Who even cares why for that matter?

I do. I obsess. I tenaciously hang on even in the face of my own demise.

Those that care the most suffer the most when I am like this.

It is far worse to some and less to others.

Something broken sets my mind to spin. 

Off it's axis, it tilts and threatens anyone close.

Promising nothing of value. Delivering something all too unwanted.

Why does it matter so much? I wish it didn't, but it does.

under the surface by -Houston Midkiff on Saturday, 24 July 2010 at 15:55

under the surface, at the edge of the edge, 

the seething threatens to break through and bring about the uncovering. 

should that come to pass, it can never be unseen, for good or bad, for the everything.

shadowed memories, once full of life and color, shiver and fall, just at the edge of the edge. 

the heart and soul trembles with unspent rage, sorrow and unhallowed ferocity.

 

a light begins to warm the surface, threatening still to wreak havoc upon the everything. The 

everything lies unaware of the danger so powerful and, yet so subtle, near to it. 

a tremor runs through the everything, signaling something, though what, it does not know.

darkness cools the surface, and shadowed memories explode again to color and life, 

sealing back the seething and it's wicked and terrible power. The everything is safe again, for now. 

the seething waits, just under the surface, at the edge of the edge. 

One time it will do more than threaten, and it will break free. Once is all it will take.

the vow

the vow

by -Houston Midkiff on Thursday, 29 July 2010 at 03:07

pain, unlike the cold pain of loss or the warm pain of passion.

pain, unlike the tangible pain of a wound or the intangible pain of sorrow.

pain, that which knows nothing of kindness, love, or forgiveness.

pain, the all encompassing swirl of unrelenting devastation upon ones being and soul.

pain, immeasurable by any standards

will not rule me, now or ever, no matter the suffering, until I breathe my last.

though blinded by pain may I be, I shall smile for all to see

until the end. This I vow.

State of Depression

State of Depression

by -Houston Midkiff on Saturday, 24 July 2010 at 20:35

insidious, vicious and vile.
evil, fully loaded. 
custom ordered to your exact specifications for suffering. 
fire engine red for flavor. 

This isn't your father's state of depression anymore.

light the sky

light the sky

by -Houston Midkiff on Thursday, 29 July 2010 at 02:27

You knew from that moment, that single, very special moment, just what was going on.

There was a warning, but you didn't dare look at it for what it was. 

It had happened before. It was happening now. It would likely happen again.

It wan't a surprise, at least not to one of us.

I looked up and saw the sky, so dark and cold and full of night.

I felt my heart skip, knowing what I know and just what that meant.

You are so special to many, and to one.

I love you. You light the sky for me.

blessing and a curse

blessing and a curse

by -Houston Midkiff on Sunday, 08 August 2010 at 10:37

in the dark of dark comes prowling, that thing that makes a growling

the pain of loss for thee and thine, comes to the heart of me and mine

in all the realm of man and beast, it takes the most and leaves the least

never shall i tire or thirst, until the end my heart does burst.

love. it is a blessing and a curse.

of course this is just one opinion and not necessarily the views presented by this station. we now return you to your regularly scheduled pithy commentary. enjoy your day. :)

a simple view

a simple view

by -Houston Midkiff on Sunday, 08 August 2010 at 13:19

first off, this is not a poem or meant to rhyme at all. it may do that inadvertently so just deal. That said, here comes the beast...

life comes kinda fast. some days more than others. feel what sun you can upon your shoulders before the clouds come covering. life can be so sweet and lovely that it makes your mind nearly pop with wonder. don't hold back that feeling, lest you start to reeling, forgetting all that makes you live.


there is joy and sorrow around every corner. i have known each in its own turn and some at the same time. everyone does, in their own ways.


ignorance, i am told, is bliss. i can see the reasoning.


i have cried for joy and wept in silence.


i have never, willingly, suffered my own minds wrath, at least other than that of guilt born from overactive thinking.


i am simple on the surface and complex beneath, like all of us, so i don't presume to understand anyone fully, but i enjoy the challenge anyway.


while some see beauty, others see only withering rot.
where lies that dieing thing, there grows a flourish of new life.
while some see the happening of love, others see the broken of heart.
i have known peace, perhaps because of a simpler view than others.


everyone has their own view of things and no one is wrong, they are just looking at things from different angles.


your perspective is your reality. at least i think so. ;p